15
aw shit! she's treating me like crap again. getting sort of caught up in herself. greeat. Friends aren't supposed to make you miserable. This I know for a fact. Know what else? Nothing has changed. old ways have actually just become ways. dude i just need to go outside. jump in the lake with friends, or go to the mall with the people who promised to spend time with me this summer, people who know how to be nice rather than devoting myself to somebody who shows such a willingness and desire to hurt me. ahhh what a loovely mess she pulled me into. i knew she didn't mean that apology. i knew it all along. she is still just as mean .and you know what? i think that it could be just as easy to pull myself out of this relationship as easily as i put myself back in it. that is something she wouldn't like very much, but what, i've tired every other option already. she would have a hard time facing these things without trying very hard to dispell the effects of guilt. i'm never going to let people get the chance to walk over me. it hurts. I am always thankful for my experiences, and what other people teach me. so thanks for nothing.
I wanted to forget this all even existed. That god awful feeling. The writing. All of it.
And maybe I will, eventually.
Perhaps.
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