Habits of A Well-Mannered Young Lady

This post was a bit late on arrival, I know. We took a weekend vacation by the Seaside, another large family function. We have a lot of those in the Summertime.

Amanda, I made this for you. It's a guide to all "complimenting" techniques you will find yourself victim to as Freshman. Pour the Champagne, darling, because this is the beginning of the rest of your brutally hellish life! I hope you feel very, very special.

When walking through the halls of high school here, a female enters a classroom, and somebody will comment on that silver and burgundy circle scarf and then you’ll enter the ladies’s restroom in the C Hall, where ladies will be having that one conversation that you’ll hear different ladies at school have about once a week.
Pauline, that girl said your shoes looked nice!
I heard her.
Oh my God. I hate when people do that.
Yeah, because they never mean it.
Like, I know, right?
And when red head with too many freckles comes into the room to admire herself in the full length mirror, sporting a brand new blue chiffon jumper she bought this-ONE-time at-the-Urban-Outfitters-on-Broadway-and-oh-my-gosh-it-is-so-thin-she-has-to-like-wear- spandex-and-a-full-outfit-of-ludicrously-tight-clothes-underneath (idiot), Pauline does not hesitate to spread her deep and unfeigned love around, just as Barbara Stanwyck or whats-her-face-like-ohmygod-who-cares did previously in the hall.

Amateurishly, I will define the compliments as such:

Compliment: "You look good in those shoes", NOT "I like those shoes"

The Comment/sad/tired compliment: It really is just a comment that resembles a compliment. Some short person you've never seen before might be standing in your history class and say very dryly, "I like your shoes". Typically they show they lack any motivation to make you feel uncomfortable. But, they sound very unexcited about their liking your shoes. Sometimes they sound very sad about liking your shoes. Sometimes they sound like they might fall asleep to the liking of your shoes.

The Fake Compliment: A compliment that somebody obviously does not mean. Not to be confused with a Cake compliment, it's a very sneaky way of saying they do not "like your shoes" at all. They think they are unflattering, unattractive, silly, etc. Or, it's a sideways sort of way of telling you ought to feel that you look terrible, whether or not you really do.

The Cake Compliment: Where a comment compliment is spoken but it sounds "sugary", like a fake compliment. A weak attempt at a Fake compliment is what it is. They could potentially have some teenager not-very-nice or self-esteem-related motives, but their too afraid to go the whole 9 yards with their being pretentious and immature and silly.

There you have it. Your basic definitions. Not only can you identify them, but you know how to react; With immense confusion, with frustration, Or, with immense confusion!

Voila!